More relationship reflections

What I do not want 

I've realised 

The bigger the ego, the bigger the man child. 

A healthy man has done the inner work to heal those issues. 

You can really tell by how their outer behaviour manifests. 

How they talk about other people, how they treat other people, how they talk in general, how their actions and words line up (or don’t). 

It’s a simple formula once you see your value, and you have spent years of your life investing in ONE relationship, it’s time to take a step back to evaluate anyone who tries to siphon more of that “same energy”. 

To ask why are YOU needing to settle for that again? 

I believe it's essential to focus on personal growth while you're single, rather than casually dating or engaging in superficial relationships. It's important to build a sense of independence that isn't dependent on someone else, especially in the event that you do enter into a relationship. partnership, you have something to fall back on because everything you created together can and will be lost the moment you end the relationship. 

I understand there is a whole "trad wife" and red pill movement that suggests women should rely on men, but based on generational evidence from my own family, I find this perspective flawed. I've seen women stay married primarily for financial reasons rather than breaking the marriage contract to pursue independence.

In the end, the happiest individuals in their older years aren’t necessarily the multi-millionaires who stayed married with three to five properties and substantial wealth. 

Instead, it’s often those who broke the generational curse. 

Even during the 70s, when divorce was still frowned upon, these individuals chose to end unhealthy relationships and raise their children independently, freeing them from the shackles of an abusive household. 

While those who broke the marriage contract may have been the least wealthy, stand against conventional values in the family line- they tend to be the HAPPIEST. Why is that?

For me. ALL CPTSD ASIDE which is a seperate thing that I don’t expect anyone to know much about. 

The right person won’t need to be educated on basic principles of healthy interpersonal human communication. I’m talking how to have an assertive and healthy adult conversation without deflecting, projecting & blaming then twisting things to be the other persons fault, then denying & creating a huge conflict out of something that was originally a minor contention. 

In short, I want a life partner who is a HEALHY, grounded & assertive communicator. 

He won’t resort to swearing, blame shifting, denial, violence or arrogance in difficult conversations.